“All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

“For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die.” 
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life 

“We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts.” 
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times

“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another's skin, another's voice, another's soul.” 
― Joyce Carol Oates

“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It's like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can't stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” 
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

“A word after a word after a word is power.” 
― Margaret Atwood

So I'm a stepmom. A fairly new one at that — I've now been married to my (amazing) husband for a whole four months. My two kids and I moved into the house with him and his three boys about a month before the actual ceremony, so we've been at this "blending family" thing for a good, solid five months.

Like every human being on earth, I've had struggles and personal challenges. I've been through divorce. I've been pregnant, by myself, in a foregin country. I've quit my job and started a business with no promise of success. Heck, I've been through Army bootcamp, where I was purposely exposed to poisonous gas. 


Cake walks. All those things.

Compared to the difficulty of blending two families that were originally created out of loss, boot camp, divorce and everything else was easy-peasy. I'd go through any one of them over again if I thought I could come out the other side with seven happy, warm, comfortable, easy-going family members who never (ok, rarely)  get their feelings hurt or feel like their lives are ten times worse than they were two years ago.

All of this is to say I spend a lot of time questioning and worrying.

How does ego show up in your life?
It  can be hard to remember, among the constant anxiety that comes along with being human, that questioning yourself and worrying about whether you're "doing it right" is actually helpful. Ego gets in the way all the time. My wise friend Amber once told me she thinks of her ego, the source of all questionning and worrying, as a mean, insecure little bully who sits on her shoulder whispering destructive thoughts in her ear. So now I think of my ego as a little Nellie Oleson, the bratty neighbor girl from that old show Little House on the Prairie. She spent her days making Laura Ingalls Wilder and her sister Mary, who were essentially saints, misreable with her snottiness. She wasn't pure evil; she probably had deep, hidden reasons for treating everyone like they were dirt, but mostly you just wished someone would punch her in the nose.

Regardless of how your ego personifies itself, here's what we should all keep in mind: that little brat of an ego is there to help you, if you let it. Consider it  your own personal "Director of Security." She's got a good nose for trouble — perhaps too good — and in the end, she really is just there to protect you from getting hurt. Even if she causes so much pain in her wake.

So as you go forward in your day (week, month, life), remember that questioning and worrying are all part of the process. It's how you learn about yourself, learn about others, and how to recognize when your ego is acting like a hurt, petulent little brat, and just needs a little love and attention. 

Serenity prayer for the ego
Recently I was at a party at my friend Marti's house, and on the refrigerator was the serenity prayer. It's old school (much like Nellie Oleson) but still has a lot to offer those of us who struggle every day with questions and worry:

As I work through this new family structure, trying to figure out if I'm applying too much pressure or not enough, if I'm the evil stepmother or the orphaned girl slaving in the ashes of the fireplace, I try to remember the serenity prayer. Sometimes it helps me feel better (but not always). Other times I try to give Director of Security Nellie Oleson a hug and throw a little gratitude her way. Either way, remember that the questions and the worrying are part of the process, and with a little luck (and a lot of work), you'll find your way home.

Starting a book club in today's day and age makes you a heroine in my books. You know why? Because it’s hard — damn hard — in today’s world of multiple calendars, varied commitments and general feelings of malaise to regularly get a group of smart, interesting people together to discuss life- and world-changing works of literature (because even 50 Shades of Grey changed the world, in its own weird way). 

First you have to decide what kind of books you’re going to read, then you have to pick the right people — who sometimes are total strangers (in which case the Universe picks them for you, which sometimes leads to pure magic). Once that’s done, you need to pick a date and time which works for everyone, which, let’s be honest, is near impossible for many fledgling book clubs. You have to pick the right books. You have to ask the right questions. 

But those things aren’t the hardest part of starting a book club that changes the world. 
You know what is? Deciding to make the commitment: committing to read the book, to show up as regularly as possible, to be there for the other people in the group. Woody Allen once said that “eighty percent of success is showing up” —and nowhere is that more true than for a book club.

My husband was telling me a story recently about a play group he knew about when his kids were younger (we’re both on our second marriage). Everyone wanted to be a part of this play group. They were organized, confident and happy, and everyone played by the rules.They didn’t flake out or schedule other things during the normal play group time. No one overstepped their bounds, because the boundaries were very clear and respectful. This is what makes a great book club too — the idea that this group is important to you, and everyone is invested in committing the time and energy to make it run smoothly.

But I believe in you! 
With the right guidance, you can form a book club that’s truly transformative for its members. By changing your lives, you change the world — because our lives are all a part of a huge tapestry of lives. When you pull one small string, the whole tapestry is changed. Books have that power: they hold within their pages the capacity to make us see our lives, the choices we make, and how we interact with others, differently. 

So why not not lay a truly powerful foundation? 
Does that mean asking the right people? Finding the right structure? Picking the right books? Of course all these things matter when forming a phenomenal book club, but it’s more than that: it’s a very specific magic that happens when all these things fall beautifully into place. It doesn’t happen every time, and with every group. But if you’re thoughtful what you want your book club to be, open to the fact that your group will change in wonderful ways you never could have imagined, and your heart(s) are in the right place, I think you’ll find your book club gives back to you and its members for years to come. 

Shall we get started?

Groucho Marx once famously said, “I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.” In that spirit, I believe that being part of a book club, a really awesome book club, can be a bit subversive if done right. In order to keep your book club from merely fizzling out, you need to first understand what your own expectations for what would make a satisfying book club. Usually that means leading it yourself, at least initially. So if you’re willing to run the group (which I’m betting you are, given that you're reading this book), review the questions below before you ever invite your first member.

One of the hardest parts about book club is often the scheduling, so if you are clear from the beginning about what your commitment will be, and what kind of commitment you expect from others in the group, everything else will fall in place. You can always be flexible if your first vision doesn’t magically fall in place, but generally it helps if there’s a structure in place from the outset. Asking these initial, clarifying questions will not only will it help you get clear on why you want to start the group in the first place, it will also solidify in your own mind your commitment and dedication towards the group. And if you’re all in, why should others be too?

Looking for ways to up the ante when it comes to your already-awesome book club? Here are some things you can do you might never have otherwise considered:

Name the group
Giving your group a name is a way to create an identity for your group. My book club initially started over the water cooler: there were several of us in the office who loved literary fiction, and we’d pass books back and forth and talk themes over our cubicle walls. Eventually someone floated the idea of making the discussions formal and forming a book club (you can read the whole story in my post “Book Club Profiles: My ‘Indoor’ Book Club”). Since all of us had dogs, we decided to call ourselves the “Must Love Dogs Book Club,” and that became the name of our private Facebook page and a common theme we could all rally around.

We don’t read books about dogs (generally speaking), and we’ve since added a member who doesn’t actually love dogs, but our name is part of who we are. Need help? Here are some questions to consider when coming up with your own fun and clever book club name:

• Who are you?
  
• Where do you live?
  
• What do you like to read?
  
• What shared interests do you have?
  
• Think alliteration (shared first letters of the words of your name)
  
• Consider puns (including book titles)
  

Keeping a club memory book
It’s nice to have a record to go back and refer to when it comes to book club. Sometimes you just need to know who’s turn it is next to pick the book, or maybe you want to know when you read a certain piece of literature a few years back. Depending on your group’s tech savvy, a blog or a social media group may work fine for this purpose. 

But if you have one or more people who are crafty, a special scrapbook with photos, members’ opinions, discussion highlights, favorite quotes and more can be a very special memento (and can help bring new members up to speed). 

Finally, when it comes to saving the world, having your own go-to “Bible” of your history is admittedly a very cool thing.

Be a force for social good
If you’re really invested in changing the world with your book club, this is the way to do it. There are plenty of literary and literacy charities out there that could use your donation. Maybe your club will decide to buy books for Toys for Tots during the holidays, or volunteer to work a few hours a year with a tutoring program.

Invite a local expert to speak at your book club
Another excellent way to leave your mark on the world — by bringing in outside people to share their knowledge. Not only does it make the expert feel good (I’m assuming you’re not inviting Toni Morrison to stop by for chips & dip here), but it gives you a wider experience of the book and the world.

Celebrate milestones
Consider adding a few special meetings to your schedule every year where you recognize and honor your group, what you do and how you do it. Holiday gatherings are an easy place to start, and so are Outdoor Book Club trips & workshops (I can even design a custom trip, just for your group!), if you really want to make the event special. 

Also consider meeting not to discuss a book, but to go for a hike, a movie or a volunteer event (my book club went to see Anne Lamott speak and we’re still talking about how great that was) so you can get to know each other in a little different context.

Decide on a theme or assign a craft or a project for the book
Have everyone bring a food related to the event (when my book club read The Paris Wife by Paula McLain, we served French-themed food to get in the spirit). You could also make paper kites after reading Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner.

What quirky, funny or very smart things has your book club done to go above and beyond the call of duty? Leave your ideas in the comments below.

Want even more book-clubby goodness? Download my Kindle ebook "How to Start A Book Club that Changes the World" from Amazon to learn exactly how to start a book club that beats the pants off of any other book club you've ever been a part of.

It's here! My ebook that gives you all the knowledge, information and encouragement you need to start a book club that changes the world (or injects new life and excitement into your old book club). 

Here's a sneak peek at some of the chapters:

• How to start a book club that you actually want to belong to
• Questions to ask before starting a book club that changes the world
• Whom to ask to join your book club
• Deciding on the details: Meeting
• How to organize your first meeting (Tips for a great first book club)
• How to pick a book
• Starting an online book club
• Tips, tricks & other awesomeness

• Appendix: Generic book club questions; book club invitation template

Here's what the book will teach you:
It will teach you to have an amazing book club that gives as much back to the world as it does to you. It will give you everything you need to know about how to make your book club the coolest club on the box — without paying a dime.

Just to give you a taste of what the book holds for you, here's a excerpt from the opening letter:

It’s hard — damn hard — in today’s world of multiple calendars, varied commitments and general feelings of malaise to regularly get a group of smart, interesting people together to discuss life- and world-changing works of literature (because even 50 Shades of Grey changed the world, in its own weird way). 

First you have to decide what kind of books you’re going to read, then you have to pick the right people — who sometimes are total strangers (in which case the Universe picks them for you, which sometimes leads to pure magic). Once that’s done, you need to pick a date and time which works for everyone, which, let’s be honest, is near impossible for many fledgling book clubs. You have to pick the right books. You have to ask the right questions. 

But those things aren’t the hardest part of starting a book club that changes the world. You know what is? Deciding to make the commitment: committing to read the book, to show up as regularly as possible, to be there for the other people in the group. Woody Allen once said that “eighty percent of success is showing up” —and nowhere is that more true than for a book club...

I wrote the book because I truly believe that books and the people who read them can change the world, given the right tools and inspiration. I hope you download the book, read it and leave a review on the book's Amazon page. And I always like to hear what new and unique things others are doing with their book clubs, so let me know in the comments what makes your book club so awesome.

I'd be thrilled if you downloaded it, used it to either start a book club or enhance your existing group, and leave a review on the book's Amazon page. Of course, I'm always interested in hearing what unique and powerful things you're doing in your own book club — leave your comment below!

I'm feeling like spreading some Christmas cheer around (and cleaning out my bookshelf), and so I'll be giving away Anne Lamott's Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers off my bookshelf to one lucky Outdoor Book Club newsletter subscriber. This hardcover book is hardly used (I actually have the Kindle version, so I don't need the hard copy) and ready for you to read it so it can change your life. Enter before I kiss my sweetie at midnight on New Year's Eve, and you'll be entered to win!

Ready to win a free book? Sign up here.

So you've been out of the reading habit for awhile; life has gotten away from you and although you used to read voraciously, these days it's just harder and harder to find the time. But you're committed — you want to get back into books and the escape they offer. You also want to be smarter and nicer.

But to kick off this renewed habit, you want to read something really good. Really juicy. I mean like, grabs-you-and-doesn't-let-go kind of amazing. Look no further — I've compiled a list of some of the very best books that have compelled lapsed readers and nonreaders alike to leap back into the reading habit, reigniting their love of books. 

I've categorized them a bit so you can make decisions based on what you like to read. I haven't read all of them, but you can bet the ones I haven't are on my TBR list. If you want even more suggestions, be sure you check out Goodreads' Popular Fast Reads.

I know that I've missed some — be sure to add your favorite fast reads in the comments!


And so without further ado...

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (Dark)
If you like dark, ambitious, slightly creepy fair tales, Neil Gaiman is your man. I haven't read this one, but for my friends who love Gaiman, many of them recommend starting with this one. Amazon calls it an "imaginative romp;" Booklist calls it "a lovely yarn."
Buy now. 

Lamb by Christopher Moore (Humor)
The subtitle says it all: "The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal." The Philadelphia Inquirer called this book "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" and a guy I used to date was a big fan of this book as well (which means this might be a good starting point for guys looking to read more literary fiction). If you think you've read everything there is to know about Jesus (and really, who has?), this might be something new to add to your list.
 Buy now

She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb (Literary fiction)
I read this years (and years and years) ago, and despite it's considerable length, I plowed through it. The book was listed as an Oprah Book Club pick way back in 1997, if that says anything. A coming of age novel and a redemption story, She's Come Undone tells the story of overweight 13-year-old Delores Price. Described as a "dysfunctional Wonder Years," the book eloquently (and often with humor) deals with issues such as divorce, mental illness and forgiveness.
Buy now

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell (YA)
This is a book I picked up for my then-15-year-old daughter, who is probably one of the toughest reviewers I know. So many people who love Young Adult fiction have recommended this book because of its writing and its new take on teen angst. The book tells the awkward love story between two "star-crossed misfits," the wild-haired, new kid in town Eleanor, and the nerdy but loveable Park. I picked it up last summer, then got distracted with another book (happens all the time), but I definitely plan on picking it back up soon. 
Buy now

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (Thriller)
There are very few books that I tell people that they have to read, and this is one of them. Not because the book is so, so amazing, but because the plotting in it is fantastic. Blow-your-mind good. If you've seen the movie, fine, you know what happens, but go back and read the book anyway. It's fascinating to watch how Flynn sets all the characters up and then, bam, knocks them back down again. 
Buy now

The Hunger Games By Suzanne Collins (YA)
The closest I've ever come to getting in a fistfight over this book (why yes, there was liquor involved!). Which is curious, because I thought it was a "shitty book." I know, I know, this isn't the best way to start off describing a book that's on a "must read" book list. But thanks to Jennifer Lawrence, we've all become fascinated by the dystopian, bow-wielding herione Katniss and an older, wiser self now thinks it's worth picking up. I've only read the first in the trilogy (see above "shitty book" reference), and it was indeed a fast read. If you're looking to get back into reading, this book will get you back in the groove.
Buy now

Bossypants by Tina Fey (Humor)
Here's another one that I recommend to people all the time. I love Tina Fey. I'm pretty sure we would be besties if we actually knew each other (I have this reoccurring daydream of her, Jennifer Aniston, and me — maybe Louis CK is there too — all sitting at a booth at Stella's, telling jokes and throwing back whiskey). This book is fast, smart, choke-on-your-tea hilarious and just so, so good. Buy the hard copy; you'll read it and pass it on to all your smart, funny friends (who have actually probably already read it, because it's that damn good, so nevermind.)
Buy now

Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsen (Thriller)
This is one of the few books that I can say that I've seen the movie, but haven't read the book. Again, I once started it, but as is my habit, got distracted by a shiny other book — which goes against Amazon's claim that "Once you start The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, there's no turning back."  It tells the story of anti-heroine Lisbeth Salander, a "a misunderstood genius with a cache of authority issues." A thriller filled twists and turns, Booklist laments that "What a shame that we only have three books in which to watch the charismatic Lisbeth Salander take on the world!"
Buy now

The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell (Nonfiction)
Here's one for you nonfiction fans. Gladwell, the grandfather of pop sociology, describes the tipping point as a "magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire." Using examples such as the drop of violent crime in New York and the comeback of Hushpuppies shoes, this book has already changed how the world thinks about ideas. An engaging, highly readable book.
Buy now

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (Dark)
So many people loved this book. So many. I think it has to do with its YA-ish style romance and magical setting, but who knows? I thought it was meh (check out my video review to see why). Still, I think it's worth mentioning as a good book to get you back in the habit if you've been out for awhile.

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet (Historical fiction)
The first book in a series about a cathedral being built in the middle ages. Brilliantly written, with plenty of romance, thrills and historical context to go around. This may not be exactly a "quick read" at over 1,000 pages, but it's still a good one. The Library Journal says the book "will appeal more to lovers of exciting adventure stories than true devotees of historical fiction." Sold.
Buy now

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner (Chick lit)
Meet Candace "Cannie" Shapiro, Philadelphia Inquirer reporter who one day opens up a magazine and finds a column penned by her ex-boyfriend that proclaims "Loving a larger woman is an act of courage in our world." Thoroughly humiliated, Cannie takes solace in tequila and her rat terrier Nifkin, and then proceeds down the road of redemption. "This is a must-read for any woman who struggles with body image, or for anyone who cares about someone who does," said Publisher's Weekly. I'm saving this one for the next time I'm sick, and need something engaging and fast to read.
Buy now

Okay, so let me know: what did I miss? What did I list that should've been left off this list? Leave a comment below.